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The Horror Corner – Nightmare on Elm St. – 2010 Remake

I’m not one to poo-poo hollyweird’s trend of the past decade. Unnecessarily remaking classic horror films. Sure, it shows a lack of creativity, but you know what? I don’t have to go see them….I can just ignore them. Won’t tarnish my love of some of these flix. But they’re here to stay, and surprise….I actually like some of these remakes. Not more than their original counterparts of course, but some of them are a chill way to kill 90 minutes. Except for this one.

I found this reboot of my beloved Elm St. to be bland, soulless, and just didn’t have a good flow to it. Don’t get it messed up, I really wanted to like this one. I thought the trailer looked tight, Jackie Earle Haley as Freddy looked good, there looked to be some cool callbacks of the original. I mean, Freddy looked like he was gonna be scary again, hell yeah I was excited. What I got was a bunch of cheap jump scares, most of which you’ll see coming a mile away. A slow, meandering story, and acting that needed Red Bull to jolt some interest in the thing.

And the callbacks…..wow, lame. The infamous wall scene, where Freddy’s form pushes out of a wall as he watches a girl sleep. Totally convincing effect, even now, was done as cheap as possible, with spandex(!). They CG that bad boy here, and boy does it look bad. The glove in the bathtub? Why did they even bother. The Tina death scene where she’s dragged up a wall, was so tame here. They would’ve been better off just doing there own thing. And changes to Freddy’s backstory….ok, they’re trying to do their own thing there. But it didn’t make alot of sense. They try to elicit some false sympathy for a little while, you know, maybe Freddy didn’t molest and kill those kids. Oh wait, Freddy just molested the kids in this one. Such a weird change, like, what’s the point of the glove then?

Things get a little interesting in the 3rd act, but at this point I really didn’t care. About the only thing that maybe saw some improvement on the original, was the very last scene with the mother. It was pretty cool here. So, it’s not the worst horror movie I’ve seen….just one of the more boring ones. I’m giving it a generous 4 outta 10.

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June 5, 2010 Posted by | The Horror Corner | , , , | Comments Off on The Horror Corner – Nightmare on Elm St. – 2010 Remake

The Horror Corner – Thoughts on the Nightmare on Elm St. series

I hope atomic zombie doesn’t mind me sharing this space with him a little bit. We’re both horror movie fans of epic proportions. I just wanna get some thoughts out there once in awhile….plus I’ve been a bad parent, neglecting our child, our chill little blog here 😦

Full disclosure…..I was the Freddy fanboy growing up. The original Elm St. is the first horror flick I remember seeing, it scared the shit outta me, and I still love it to this day. My first halloween getup was a Freddy mask and glove, I’d wear the thing anytime throughout the year. Yeah I know, weird and it explains alot 🙂

How do I feel about the rest of the franchise? Part 2 is very unpopular in alot of horror circles, personally, I think it’s great, as it still brings the creeps and doesn’t just redo the first flick, it does something different. Freddy possession, he gets into the kid as he sleeps and takes over. Think ‘Avatar’, but you’re an ugly burned up child killer, not a cute blue person.  Part 3, The Dream Warriors, kinda creepy, much higher on the excitement scale. It introduced the cool themed dream worlds that the kiddies would get killed in. But…..it also introduced wise cracking Freddy. The guy that people reference when they diss the Elm St. flix as stupid and not scary.

Elm St. 4, The Dream Master went full tilt boogie on the jokey Freddy. It still had the cool dream worlds, and upon reflection, is quite entertaining. But creepy it’s not, not even a little bit. Except for the cockroach scene….man I hate those things. I can’t even watch the last story in Creepshow cuz it freaks me the fugg out*shivers*.  Part 4 plays like a music video kinda. Freddy meets the MTV generation, yay.  Part 5, The Dream Child….hmmm. I’m entertained by it, keeps the trend, but also has a gothic vibe to it. A little more serious, but not very scary either. Pretty weird too, Freddy resurrects himself though an unborn child’s dreams. What the flux??

Part 6, Freddy’s Dead-The Final Nightmare….ahhh….the one where they kill Freddy. Honestly, this one is hard to watch, it’s more comedic than 4, without the music video charm….it’s downright bad. They didn’t even try to be spooky, they just ran with the slapstick. Freddy’s glove become’s a Nintendo style power glove? O….K….*backs away slowly*.  Then there was New Nightmare, which was a mindblowing concept at the time, Freddy is so popular, he steps out of fiction land and into reality. With some of the original’s actors playing themselves, being tortured by a new style Freddy. And get this, he’s actually creepy again. I love this one, it’s not without it’s flaws though. I feel it’s a bit slow at times and a little more drama than horror as well in some bits.

Which will bring me to my upcoming review of the Elm St. remake…what does this Freddy Krueger fanboy think? Stay tuned.

June 5, 2010 Posted by | The Horror Corner | , , | Comments Off on The Horror Corner – Thoughts on the Nightmare on Elm St. series

Lessons on how now to Design Websites…

Let me introduce you to this fucking monstrosity of a site. Now, I realize that I am merely a simpleton who is so fucking lazy that I don’t actually design my own site anymore (hello 5 years ago)..but also cheap (fuck paying for it)..but..come on Lucasarts. What the hell is this shit. It’s like they read the manual for poor design.

Stupidly long load times – check
audio playing from start – check
All dark text – check
small and the most fucking confusing button menus you will ever see ever – check
pray the user “understands” your site  – check.

I present to you Star Wars Force Unleashed…2.

June 5, 2010 Posted by | Normal Stuffs | , , , | Comments Off on Lessons on how now to Design Websites…