Halo Reach or was it Halo 4? Combat De-Evolved then Re-Evolved? You Tell me – I dunno.

Man, that is a title. I’m actually impressed at how fucking lame I made that shit.  You’ll forgive me as I’m listening to the shit hot Gorillaz song Stylo and my attention is very lacking. I need to stop for a second and speak to Richie’s silence after I forwarded this song. It speaks volume’s to his displeasure. Sure, it’s Damon Albarn. And sure he’s white. Top that off with a litol’ british ness. Well with damon it’s  ALOT OF british. But like fuck rich. This shit is hot.

Anyways. Halo Reach. Lets REVIEW YOU BABY.

Sike. This aient no review! I’ll leave that to the awesome site that is G4tv.

I’m kidding. That’s Richie’s jawn! I don’t dare touch Halo “reviews” for fear of death from “RR” or “richie-raw” or whatever gamer tag I don’t know about that is currently being referenced to the king of games.  Oh you gamers and your gamer tag’s.  WHATEVER. Halo Reach is not bad. It’s just not that great. Stress great – because it’s good. If you like halo you’ll love this game.  If you want some kind of different take on Halo, it’s not exactly your thing. There are some new weapons in Halo Reach however. And that’s why we play halo amirite? Just look at this retarded list on Halopedia. I found myself using the M392 Designated Marksman Rifle virtually the entire time. Have fun killing a hunter with it though. You’ll run through 60 rounds on it without any effort. Then again with Hunters, you can bug them and just stand at max distance and prevent them from firing giving you an in to kill them. It’s excruciatingly fucking stupid to do it this way but when you’re given this gun, and a grenade launcher, (with 5 rounds?!?!?!?!) halfway through the game you’ll find yourself doing this. AND FUCKING OFTEN. NERD RAGE INCREASING. Anyhow Fast Forward a bit….I ended up beating the game last weekend and if anyone listens to our podcast you’ll know this can be quite and achievement for either of us.

In the end I found the game to be a lot of fun, more halo, but that it felt that it was halo 4 than anything else. Oh, it had different cut scenes that pre-dated anything we have seen. Woopie. The Multiplayer is something I cant speak to at all since, you know, ahem, moving on. You will find some gnarley quirks like AI driving but you’ll also find cool shit like shields. Hint: KEEP JET PACKS FOREVER DUMBASS. Good lucking finding that shit though, it rarely appears on maps. I’d love to find the location point of Jet Packs though. 🙂 (SEO FTW). The Storyline is great and will appease any kind of halo fan. The gameplay is more standard but not boring in any way so please don’t confuse some of the harshness for a dislike of the game. I’m sure it will score a 80-75 on metacritic and in my opinion this is perfectly fine. Go buy it at your local gamestop from the kid who has been growing out his beard since 16. Fuck gamestop employee’s. Sorry, just had to toss that in. It’s a good game. Get it.