Everyone and their brother is complaining talking about how fun Fallout New Vegas is, but also how many glitches it has. I’m going to join the masses and point out a glitched moment but, also focus on not being a dick about it by running to the forums to complain. This might go into the Tips section for my Gamers Guide to a Personality. More fodder for my upcoming book which no one will buy.
The glitch occurred after I cleared out the REPCONN Test Site full of ghouls and managed to save not only the normal ghouls but also the Nightkin! Yay me right? Yeah, i’m a sucker for the good ending. Alone in a vast wasteland it’s me, myself, and my bottle of gin, saving humanity one gesture at a time. Awe. Feeling happy and secure I saved and went to bed at 1am. (UGH)
The next day, after a long day at work, I come home and let the wife play fable 2 for >4< hours then pop in the game about an hour past bedtime. The following is a (mostly) true story.
Happy fun save time REPCONN Facility
Cannot load game HAHA FU. (it really said FU, true story)
More uncomfortable silence
Select Auto Save 10 minutes prior to happy fun save time at REPCONN facility
Cannot load game
silent (response exaggerated to protect the innocent)
I’m kidding. I didn’t get angry. I laughed. Really, I did. Mostly because I was being a arrogant smug jerkface reading all the stories of people’s games bugging out while mine was not. “heh, look at those fools and their bugs. They cant touch me.” I was caught red handed at what I do so well. So I did what any self respecting gamer does. I called up a friend, in this case rich, and repeated the story. He suggested saving the entire game to my hard-drive. What FOREIGN CONCEPT IS THIS? Install to harddrive? he might as well be telling me to write up battle plans for invading china for crying out loud. Now, I’m sure he can pop in and tell you this but this is how the convo went.
“we’ve talked about this before.”
“We did?” – playing innocent because I know we must have in the past.
“yeah, you press the yellow button, Y, and install it to your harddrive. It saves time on the load, lessens the usage of your disc reader, and makes bunnies come rushing into your house to cuddle with you. Dude, dont you remember talking about it on the podcast?”
There are two points to this. One is to not be a smug jerkface and laugh at other people’s shit going wrong because it can just as easily happen to you. The other is that even when there is a moment when something goes totally fucking wrong and seemingly ruins what amounts to an epic battle, involving hours of running around a fucking maze like facility fending off people with a butterknife,in the process using all my fucking stimpaks, something good can always come from it. And that is the realization that I am, sometimes, a complete fucking jerkface that can now save games to my 20 gig harddrive.
I know what you’re thinking but…120$ for a 250 gig drive? as IF! TAKE THAT $$$SOFT.
Ahh and now comes my part of the day where I laugh evilly at people who..well….how do I put this? Hmmmmm. Haven’t yet interacted with Society in a healthy and appropriate manner? That works. Yeah.
Please enjoy these as I have
This will be my THIRD post in a row with one sentence.
EXCEPT NOT REALLY MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.
Yes, another fucking cat video has made it to the internets and yes, we are all fawning over how cute it is. Don’t you people realize this is a devious trap made up by liberal ,or..NO! RIGHT WING!!! Cats. Wait, no, CHECK THAT…TERROR-IST CATS! You’re either with them or against them…what will it be kiddo? I own three cats, I’m in yo.
I now present…Nora: Practice Makes Purr-fect (A+!)
Just watch..there are no words. Just. Watch.
He should not be allowed to breed.
I imagine you joyfully came home from gamestop (after being insulted a few times) with a massive grin on your face promptly tell your mom/family/roomates you hate to fuck off, because you are ready to play some Fallout New Vegas BOYEEEE! First thoughts as you run through the game’s starting credits are man…this feels good. REAL GOOD. It’s been months since you cracked out on any game like this – kind of like the excitment you feel if your old lady has come home after she’s been away at Anime Convention for months on end to find her in some japanimerpbullshit outfit. You lean back on your wobbly ikea sofa, feel the needle slide into your arm deep enough, and wake up in Goodspring. You are thinking dude where the SMEG am i? Goodspring? Oh NO they didn’t. This is no Vault 101 my fellow Fallout 3 crackheads. If you are like me you slammed your monster can down on the table and said THIS is NOT the VAULT and promptly stamped around in a circle a few times with your arms flailing about. What the FUCK! FFFFUUUUUUUU. Right?
You are nodding your head right now.
Well, I raged. Except not really.
After doing some run around talk to Sunny Smiles world of warcraft mailman quests (GOD)….you are hit with your first real quest (don;’t be a douchebag and correct me with all caps saying: THIS IS NOT THE FIRST QUEST) in Fallout New Vegas By a Campfire on the Trail. Now you are thinking this is Vegas! My first quest should be something where I kill a pimp so a stripper falls in love with me and we do lots of CO CO CO CO CAAAAINE, or get so much money that you can buy a stripper then do some CO CO CO CO-CAINE just so you can kill a pimp, or you all of a sudden become 15x your normal size and laugh maniacally over vegas like homer simpson after winning the lottery, stepping on pimps so you can get a stripper and do lots of? YOU GUESSED IT. CO CO CO CO CAINE
You would be wrong.
Instead…….wait for it……………………….you go and pick some flowers. Mother fucker said pick some flowers!!! So off you go to “find a broc flower and some XANDER ROOT”. Jesus christ. What kind of game is this where I have to go picking flowers? (clue: The Broc Flower is in the Good Springs Cemetery and the Xander Root it just outside of the door to the abandoned school house near a rock).
So what is it? What is this game? I want to kill some dudes with my ultra powerful LASOR cannon of DEATH in my kick ass power armor. This shit needs to get better fast but judging by the lameness of Fallout 3’s first 5-8 hours..I’m guessing right around the 5-8 hour mark. Which is O-K.
If you never saw the Whoahh!!!! Guys – aka jersey guido’s – or, whatever young kids call them these days, watch this.
I bring this up because I watched that clip about 10,000 times and laughed myself silly. The best part is now the Whoah!!! Guy is back and dancing at the club. I might watch this a few hundred times before the end of the day today. Who even dances like this.
Baby blue I see you in two weeks…
So there it is. Now – imagine what your character, in my case a tauren, will look like. I was a fan of Tier 10 – despite not ever being poopsock enough to actually get that gear but it got me thinking what was my favorite Shaman Set of Tier Gear. I’ll throw down because I’m a old dude anymore in this game, especialy when I know the vast majority of world of warcraft players are 18-24. I believe the % was under 5 according to my behind the scenes knowledge, WHATEVER. Do you even care about what I just said? I sure don’t!My favorite set was the Cyclone set. I just loved the lightbulbs as my shoulders. Blame is on my love of nightlights after watching scarey movies around the age of 10.
This set, on the other hand, looks a little druidey. I made up that word.Druideeeeeeey. You know what I mean. I think the reason I actually give a smeg about this set is that it’s, in all likely hood, the one I’ll be wearing for the next 2 years. I’ll join the raiding scene when everyone is still new and cant Gearscore check you like douchebags so that will give me an option to play. Fun times indeed. I know you’re excited. I am. Gimmie that set dog.
I’m putting up the 100 Greatest quotes from The Wire
I made a funny yesterday and I certainly don’t blame my self. What self respecting person would? I kid. It was my fault – I didn’t look. But I’m still not going to give up that it’s not completely my fault if something is messed up in the first place. I’m talking about the Sony Playstation store and the insane belief that one should be able to get a refund.
First off it stats right there in that little box image that what I was buying is a PSP game – which I already own on a system that BROKE OVER THE GOD DAMN WEEKEND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GAME. RAGE! GOD! Anyways, I have the insane belief to read the main text in the middle of the page and not automatically assume, hey I’m buying the WRONG PRODUCT. Well, I did. And it’s my mistake. So I go searching online as my generation is so wont to do and I find this little bit of Grade A customer service.
“All PlayStation®Store sales are final (no refunds) per the PlayStation®Network Terms of Service and User Agreement.”
What the fuck is this some bodega in the hood? Out of the millions of users that sony has, and I’m sure judging by just living every day in Philadelphia, or just gaming on the xbox live experience nevermind years of wow player stories, there are a bunch of complete and total moron’s out there! Someone will make a mistake. People do. We’re not perfect. Toss in someone’s money and you’re just begging for a disaster. I won’t even go into the whole “you signed this 12 page document that would require years of legal counsel to even begin understanding” as the whole “told you so”. I just cant deal with that much anger this morning. Well..10$ later, or 300$ later, however you want to spell it in my case, I had a bad sony weekend. But hot damn, Pixel Junk Monsters is fun!
Why? Life happens. I may write for a video game blog in my spare time, but that spare time seems less and less. I get home from work each weekday with about 7 hours before I end up going to bed. Living in the greater Philadelphia area, approximately 3 hours of that is chewed up by watching the Phillies, especially now in the postseason. (How ’bout that Halladay no-hitter last night?) Even after baseball season is gone, that time’s gonna be funneled into the Flyers. (season opener tonight on Versus)
Weekends have even less time for gaming, since I spend most of the weekend with my girlfriend. Can’t play videogames because of sports and women? Am I developing a life? I might have to turn in my geek badge and soldering gun after a quarter century of dedicated service.
When all’s said and done, I think I now have less than 10 hours each week to dedicate to gaming. Coming from being used to making gaming a second full-time job, it’s a huge shock. My pile of games to play grows as my time to play them shrinks. I haven’t finished a game since last October when I was unemployed and powered through Brutal Legend in two days.
The current list of games I’ve been playing (and what I’ll spend the rest of this post on – I swear this is a gaming blog, not a “living a boring life” blog) is as follows:
Team Fortress 2
Magic: The Gathering – Duels of the Planeswalkers
Assassin’s Creed II
Team Fortress 2
Yeah, it’s a game I’ve had for more than 2 years now, but the recent (probably not as recent as I think) Mann-Conomy pack has breathed a lot of new life and fun into the game. I had stopped playing right after the Sniper/Spy updates, so the weapon dynamic has completely changed with all the newer class updates. The number of achievements has nearly doubled, and the new item drop/shop/trade/upgrade system has made the game incredibly rich and complex, while still being fun and simple to jump into when you have 15 minutes to kill.
If you haven’t played TF2 in a while, break it out. It’s still able to eat 5 hours of your time in a sitting.
Magic: The Gathering – Duels of the Planeswalkers
I’ve been a Magic player for 16 years now. I’m sure there are first-time readers stumbling onto this blog who were born around the time I started playing Magic. I was always quite good at the game mechanics, but had a very simple problem that kept me out of building incredible decks. Some decks cost $100+ just to obtain the basic resources to cast your spells. You could be looking at another $75-300 for your actual deck concept. It’s a game of outbuying your opponent, and I was always broke as hell as a kid.
The economic metagame is taken out of the equation in Duels of the Planeswalkers. There are a handful of fixed decks with unlockable sideboards (expansion cards that can be optionally added or swapped with cards in the base deck), each with roughly the same level of power depending on their core concept. I found this aspect highly enjoyable, because I was no longer at the mercy of my collection. (My actual Magic collection is expansive, more than 6,000 cards, but very few of my decks have all of what they need to reach their maximum potential. Furthermore, these decks are quite old and no longer sanctioned for tournament play.)
What I especially like about Duels of the Planeswalkers is the “Challenge Mode.” This is a series of single-turn puzzles that throw the player in the middle of a game in-progress (often in dire straits) with a simple objective: Win the game. This mimicked a series of similar puzzles published as a single photo in InQuest magazine back when I used to play heavily. It’s a fun bit of nostalgia, though I ran into a few cases where I successfully completed the challenge in a way the game wasn’t prepared to handle and lost.
Challenge Mode is my current go-to time waster when I sit at my computer and have a few minutes (rapidly spiraling into a half hour) to waste.
Assassin’s Creed II
Rounding out my “wasting my life on games that are nothing new” collection is AC2. I never played the first one, but the second one has me pretty deep. The storyline is presented in an awesome way, the ease of performing pretty badass assassinations on guards is a lot of fun, and the game does a great job representing boring collection systems (statues, feathers, seals, weapons, etc) in a slightly immersive way (having to drop items off at various locations, integrating it with the villa’s development)
There’s really just one thing keeping it from locking down my time 100%: Jumping puzzles. It’s not 2003 anymore. I know Ubisoft made Prince of Persia and probably even used the same engine to make Assassin’s Creed, but there’s nothing fun about jumping puzzles, especially with Assassin’s Creed’s wonky freerunning controls. I’ve abandoned several Assassin’s Tombs because the jumping puzzles were tedious and frustrating. It’s an unfortunate detraction to an otherwise perfect game.
So that’s too many words on why I haven’t done a Cataclysm beta live stream recently. Hopefully I can scrape together the time to do one in the next week or so. Stay tuned to this blog and I’ll let you know when I expect to do it. It seems my Vashj’ir blog posts were somewhat popular, so I’m sure some of you would like to see Vashj’ir live.
I now add my submission to the ever growing list of “Cigar Guy Photoshops”
Cigar Guy celebrates no hitter with Roy Halladay
Is this a bit like beer goggles? You know what I’m talking about. No? Well..you obviously didn’t go to college and are male. If you are male and went to college and still dont know what Beer Goggles are…you are fucking way lame. Anyhow, this contraption looks awesome. I’m a big fan of where smart phones are taking us and their usefullness. Then again I love Star Trek (STOP LAUGHING) and want us to move more in that direction. While I don’t know what actual aspects I can use this for – i’m the kind of guy who doesn’t mind waiting while looking thing sup or you know…researching where i’m going to eat before I leave the house. Just Sayin’
Boom. AS Advertised. y’all. You heard it here first.
I found out that the complete collection of FFXI is available on Steam for $10. What follows are my opinions based on my experiences with the game and its effects on a friend of mine.
(11:50:28 PM) surrealcatalyst: And good god, that’s such a fucking trap
(11:50:37 PM) surrealcatalyst: $10 for FFXI complete on Steam
(11:51:07 PM) surrealcatalyst: That game is part of a series of retaliation attacks for Hiroshima and Nagasakai.
(11:53:25 PM) surrealcatalyst: That game is a syphillis-laden cheese grater sized so that Japanese dicks pass harmlessly through it
(11:53:36 PM) surrealcatalyst: And the Japanese have a fun game of goading foreigners into sticking their dicks in it.
(11:53:58 PM) surrealcatalyst: I had a friend fail out of school playing that game
(11:54:07 PM) surrealcatalyst: Then not move out of the dorm after failing out
(11:54:12 PM) surrealcatalyst: And not tell his parents that he failed out
(11:54:26 PM) surrealcatalyst: While accumulating 375+ character levels in FFXI.
(11:56:34 PM) surrealcatalyst: WoW hasn’t even done that to people I know.
G4Tv has announced that Gears of War 3 has been Delayed. Bummer. It’s not just a few months, rather it is a full year! The new release date for Gears of War 3 will be sometime in FALL 2011. >.< In a press release from Microsoft they go on to state:
“Gears of War 3 promises to be the biggest entertainment launch of 2011. The teams at Microsoft Game Studios and Epic Games have done great work thus far readying the title for release in the Spring of 2011. However, we’ve elected to move the launch of Gears of War 3 until Fall 2011 to make it the marquee title for the holiday season.”
It could be the marquee for national pants day – it doesnt matter. Gears is a HUGE franchise no matter when it’s released. I am hopeful that they’ll have more time to polish it’s playability. As Richie and I have said many times on the Podcast we appreciate the time it takes to release a game and it’s subsequent effort involved. Don’t RUSH IT. DON’T PANIC. Just please don’t release a 3d version of this game. Or something Kinect related. I’ll fucking vomit.