Gamer Sentenced to Gulag for Potential Terrorist Remarks
Video Game player Spoogelord69 from New Baptist, Kentucky was sentenced to 15 years at a labour camp in the Gulag without an Xbox for his potential involvement on a (fictional) twitter account.
It all started on Wednesday Novemeber 10th 2010 when Spoogelord69 wrote “lawl plox at ur girlfriend I haz noodz of her lvl 70 shaman 2900 WHR in TB WTS 40g pst with offer” on his twitter account to the under secretary of the prime minister of bossmanistan. The Under Secretary then reported a possible TERRORIST threat to the Authorities who promptly put down their boston creame donuts and headed over to Spoogelord69’s house. Upon arrival Spooge’s parents directed the authorities to the basement where Spoogelord was holed up. After an hour long journey through empty cans of Monster and Twinkie wrappers the Authorities apprehended the suspect.
In response Spoogelord69, whose name is David Finkstien but also known under the alias’s of “bel biv devo, rock my Talent Tree, and Kris Kristofferson”, accused his friend Lawrence Phillips of hacking his account and sending out the Tweets. Lawrence was not available for comment. Spoogelord was convicted under the anti terrorism act enacted in the 1860’s in response to the rising fear that Turtleneck’s would be taking over the planet. Though the current threat level for Turtleneck’s is at yellow or, black, or mock-neck, it is still a capital offense to make such threats.
Spoogelord69 and his 16,500 achievement points were removed from the XBOX live network on Friday morning prior to the conviction. When asked by the presiding judge Suzy Lawpants, before being taken away to the Gulag, as to why he would convict a crime Spoogelord’s only response was that he was proud he was the first of his friends to get 60/60 achievements in Elder Scrolls Oblivlion.
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