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The Horror Corner – Resident Evil Afterlife

So now we’re on our 4th Resident Evil movie….already?!? Yes peoples, the love-hate relationship continues with the geek masses out there. As in they love to hate these flicks. I don’t fall into that camp. I like them for what they are, mindless popcorn entertainment with some really cool action thrown in for good measure. I don’t go in expecting the Godfather over here. I guess some cats are pissed that these movies involve horror elements, but they’re really action flix…..and said cats want horror.

As far as the games are concerned, Resident Evil hasn’t really been scary since part 3 and/or Code:Veronica. I’ve seen reviews that knock the story, or lack thereof. But really, can someone explain to me one of the fuckin Resident Evil storylines and keep a straight face?? I love those games, but those stories are about as wacky and nonsensical as can be. So fellow geeks, please don’t sit there all high and mighty and expect the movies to fix that problem. What the movies have done though, is take elements from the games and weave them into it’s own, entity, if you will.

So here we have the story of Alice, played by the very fine Milla Jovovich, continuing where the last movie left off. She was the Umbrella experiment that fought back….and wants to get revenge on the corporation that’s killed most of the world with their zombie infection. Exhilarating action opens the flick as she rolls through with her clone army that they teased from the last flick. Albert Wesker showing up as public enemy no. 1, makes sure things don’t go smoothly. A series of other things happen, blah blah blah, then Alice goes to find her friends from before, comes across a new set of survivors locked in an office building. Eventually shit hits the fan. There’s a big battle, another cliffhanger confirming another sequel and it’s all gravy. Sure there’s story, but it’s light…..and that’s okay. The movie was fun.

This one take elements straight out of RE5, continuing the meld of game with their own movie. Special effects were good, the 3D was better, all around a good package for dumb entertainment with some okay zombie stuff in the soup. The 1st RE movie is semi-respected in some circles, 2nd is well hated(not by me though), the 3rd brought some of that semi-respect back…..I’d say this movie ranks with the 3rd flick in quality. Overall, it’s fun, looks good, and has some slick action sequences. Works for me.

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September 17, 2010 Posted by | The Horror Corner | , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The Horror Corner – Nightmare on Elm St. – 2010 Remake

I’m not one to poo-poo hollyweird’s trend of the past decade. Unnecessarily remaking classic horror films. Sure, it shows a lack of creativity, but you know what? I don’t have to go see them….I can just ignore them. Won’t tarnish my love of some of these flix. But they’re here to stay, and surprise….I actually like some of these remakes. Not more than their original counterparts of course, but some of them are a chill way to kill 90 minutes. Except for this one.

I found this reboot of my beloved Elm St. to be bland, soulless, and just didn’t have a good flow to it. Don’t get it messed up, I really wanted to like this one. I thought the trailer looked tight, Jackie Earle Haley as Freddy looked good, there looked to be some cool callbacks of the original. I mean, Freddy looked like he was gonna be scary again, hell yeah I was excited. What I got was a bunch of cheap jump scares, most of which you’ll see coming a mile away. A slow, meandering story, and acting that needed Red Bull to jolt some interest in the thing.

And the callbacks…..wow, lame. The infamous wall scene, where Freddy’s form pushes out of a wall as he watches a girl sleep. Totally convincing effect, even now, was done as cheap as possible, with spandex(!). They CG that bad boy here, and boy does it look bad. The glove in the bathtub? Why did they even bother. The Tina death scene where she’s dragged up a wall, was so tame here. They would’ve been better off just doing there own thing. And changes to Freddy’s backstory….ok, they’re trying to do their own thing there. But it didn’t make alot of sense. They try to elicit some false sympathy for a little while, you know, maybe Freddy didn’t molest and kill those kids. Oh wait, Freddy just molested the kids in this one. Such a weird change, like, what’s the point of the glove then?

Things get a little interesting in the 3rd act, but at this point I really didn’t care. About the only thing that maybe saw some improvement on the original, was the very last scene with the mother. It was pretty cool here. So, it’s not the worst horror movie I’ve seen….just one of the more boring ones. I’m giving it a generous 4 outta 10.

June 5, 2010 Posted by | The Horror Corner | , , , | Comments Off on The Horror Corner – Nightmare on Elm St. – 2010 Remake

The Horror Corner – Thoughts on the Nightmare on Elm St. series

I hope atomic zombie doesn’t mind me sharing this space with him a little bit. We’re both horror movie fans of epic proportions. I just wanna get some thoughts out there once in awhile….plus I’ve been a bad parent, neglecting our child, our chill little blog here 😦

Full disclosure…..I was the Freddy fanboy growing up. The original Elm St. is the first horror flick I remember seeing, it scared the shit outta me, and I still love it to this day. My first halloween getup was a Freddy mask and glove, I’d wear the thing anytime throughout the year. Yeah I know, weird and it explains alot 🙂

How do I feel about the rest of the franchise? Part 2 is very unpopular in alot of horror circles, personally, I think it’s great, as it still brings the creeps and doesn’t just redo the first flick, it does something different. Freddy possession, he gets into the kid as he sleeps and takes over. Think ‘Avatar’, but you’re an ugly burned up child killer, not a cute blue person.  Part 3, The Dream Warriors, kinda creepy, much higher on the excitement scale. It introduced the cool themed dream worlds that the kiddies would get killed in. But…..it also introduced wise cracking Freddy. The guy that people reference when they diss the Elm St. flix as stupid and not scary.

Elm St. 4, The Dream Master went full tilt boogie on the jokey Freddy. It still had the cool dream worlds, and upon reflection, is quite entertaining. But creepy it’s not, not even a little bit. Except for the cockroach scene….man I hate those things. I can’t even watch the last story in Creepshow cuz it freaks me the fugg out*shivers*.  Part 4 plays like a music video kinda. Freddy meets the MTV generation, yay.  Part 5, The Dream Child….hmmm. I’m entertained by it, keeps the trend, but also has a gothic vibe to it. A little more serious, but not very scary either. Pretty weird too, Freddy resurrects himself though an unborn child’s dreams. What the flux??

Part 6, Freddy’s Dead-The Final Nightmare….ahhh….the one where they kill Freddy. Honestly, this one is hard to watch, it’s more comedic than 4, without the music video charm….it’s downright bad. They didn’t even try to be spooky, they just ran with the slapstick. Freddy’s glove become’s a Nintendo style power glove? O….K….*backs away slowly*.  Then there was New Nightmare, which was a mindblowing concept at the time, Freddy is so popular, he steps out of fiction land and into reality. With some of the original’s actors playing themselves, being tortured by a new style Freddy. And get this, he’s actually creepy again. I love this one, it’s not without it’s flaws though. I feel it’s a bit slow at times and a little more drama than horror as well in some bits.

Which will bring me to my upcoming review of the Elm St. remake…what does this Freddy Krueger fanboy think? Stay tuned.

June 5, 2010 Posted by | The Horror Corner | , , | Comments Off on The Horror Corner – Thoughts on the Nightmare on Elm St. series

Remix Application

Ughhhhhhhh. More wow kids.  This has to be some troll. But there’s this kid that’s applying to a guild on durotan and he made a video of his application. If you watch the other video he does the similar voice and kind of says a bunch of really stupid things to make you guess he’s faking but after my experience with other kids who play wow…I don’t know. They all sound like this. You tell me.

April 27, 2010 Posted by | The Horror Corner | Comments Off on Remix Application

Horror Corner ZombieLand

I was hoping to be more active this month.  I was hoping to have a satisfying career and a huge plot of land with a concrete bunker stocked with weapons ammo and food by this time in my life.  Things don’t always happen like ya plan em though.  Just sometimes things happen.  So I’m going to make the best of it and plod on as always,  albeit a bit late and WAY off track.  So lets just say im undependable and we can all love me for my faults.  Let’s get back to what matters.

ZOMBIELAND!

OK.  let me just say that as comedic as this movie really is it’s SPOT ON.  the rules to live by, the realities wrapped in humor, the relationships forged and the absoloute horrible truth of surviving in a zombie apocolypse. 

The characters are fun and likeable, and the suprise cameo while shortlived is absolutely PERFECT for this movie.  Woody is an absolute perfect match for the character and plays his role to an absolute T. 

The Zombies while not completely Romero Zombies are still mostly believable, no superhuman strength and no weird flying powers are bestowed upon them.  They are in fact the living dead.  Good old plain and fancy Zeds.

The story while not gripping does get you involved,  it makes you laugh,  and it allows you to immerse yourself.

All in all this is more of a good time fun movie than an all out comedy laugh fest, and its definately not a horror movie per sea.

Go see this movie, horror fans and stiffs alike will love this movie.  Something for everyone and blah blah blah.

October 28, 2009 Posted by | The Horror Corner | , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Friday Night Horror Corner SAW

SAW directed by James Wan The first of, I believe 6 films so far.  This video was a sledgehammer to the knees of old school wannabe crap horror we have been used to lately.  Saw was the first horror movie that didn’t make you afraid of the protagonist.  He wasn’t a scary superhuman entity following you around with a knife after a sorority hump festival in the woods.  The movie made you afraid of your choices, would I kill my friend to save my own life, could I be given a new life?  It made you think if you were worthy of that new life.  But that also begs the question, when you watch the movie who did you sympathize with.  Who was your anti-hero?  Did you root for the cops to find the bad guy did it make you feel bad to root for the bad guy.  Instead of trying to scare you with clowns popping out of sewers this movie scared you with your own dark inner feelings.  It made you question yourself and what you were capable of to live. 

 The immediate impact of this movie was a good frightening show with plenty of entertainment value.  The long term impact included 6 more movies and a slew of other torture horror or as its now called torture porn.  Torture porn not to be confused with actual pornography, this became a genre of horror which spawned movies from Japan and Germany.  The genre confused and confounded the horror community bringing them closer to the quality of movie they had been begging for since the early 90’s. 

 If you haven’t seen this movie yet your living under a rock and you should go see it.  Grab a bucket of beer and a can of popcorn and rent this one tonight.

 You won’t be disappointed, sleep deprived maybe but not disappointed.

September 26, 2009 Posted by | Normal Stuffs, The Horror Corner | Comments Off on Friday Night Horror Corner SAW

Friday night Horror Corner

So tonight I would like to introduce you to my nightmare.  As if flying wasnt horrible enough, Samuel L Jackson got tired of snakes being on his plane so he booted them off hardcore SLJ style.  He put the wrath of god up in some snakes.  Unfortunately the passanger manifest from a flight from LA to Paris did not include uncle Sam.  Woe to the passangers of this ill fated flight who must now battle infected scientists and military gaurds. 

Flight of the Living Dead AKA Plane Dead

GOOD LORD WHO WRITES THIS GARBAGE.

The movie was campy and slightly over the top but it came out months after snakes on a plane which makes me think someone saw the movie and thought.  Hey lets do it with zombies.  I mean come on people where is the originality and ingenuity anymore.  The movie was every other zombie movie ever made it was just a different environment.  It had nothing that was suprising or original and it was truthfully boring.  usually I get some kick out of the really bad or really low budget zombie films but this one was just horrid.  Now maybe it was my anger at being forced to watch snakes on a plane (because I WILL watch anything with Samuel L Jackson in it), but this film was pretty bad.  I think it was the air of importance that this film had about itself that angered me.  Who knows, all I know is this is NOT a Romero level film, don’t be suprised by the film being subpar.

I’m not even going to go any further with this debacle.

If you watch this movie take a bottle of your favorite liqour along for the ride.

SHEESH!

next week a disertation on the history and social impact of important zombies and their rise to power among the film world.

August 28, 2009 Posted by | The Horror Corner | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Friday Night Horror Corner Day of the Dead

George A Romero’s 1985 zombie trilogies last episode was more about the human interaction between survivors and less about zombies.  Three distinct groups of people dominated this movie, civilians, scientists, and soldiers.  The group was sent to an underground compound to study the zombies and create a cure for the problem.  The soldiers were sent to protect the scientists and the civlians were sent to serve the soldiers and scientists.  Towards the end of the movie you see the breakdown between people who have lost hope, people who are in the last thows of civilization.  The possibility of the underground bunker containing the last vestiges of humanity make the soldiers edgy and willing to break down civilized laws, it makes the scientists disregard scientific morality, and makes the civlians want to pack up and head for the beaches.  This movie is yet another of Romeros insights into the human condition.  The lack of communication is what eventually leads to the breakdown which inevetably gets a majority of people killed and a few escape. 

The last of the “trilogy” but not the last of the Romero films this movie leaves a bit to be desired from the first two films but should still be watched as a cult movie.  Not as succesful as the first two films but still has the distinct Romero feel to it it is a definate to be watched film.

So curl up on the couch and grab yourself a bottle of your favorite get hammered beer and have some fun watching this one.

 

OR if you feeling particularly daring watch the three romero movies than watch contagium and return of the living dead.

so untill next friday remember dont go into the basement and don’t open that door.

August 14, 2009 Posted by | The Horror Corner | Comments Off on Friday Night Horror Corner Day of the Dead

Friday night Horror: Dawn of the Dead

I apologize for my Friday night absence and another late column but I’m the victim here. I was maliciously goaded into loading a horrible mean videogame to my poor innocent laptop. And unfortunately World of Warcraft undid a few of my specialized modifications to some of my more delicate registry entries. Unfortunately I’m stupid and didn’t back up my registry before performing an install. I know silly me. So now I’m looking for a new operating system, preferably something Linux based. Anyhow I apologize I had to wait till I got into work to load this. So here is my Monday morning Friday Night post in its entirety.

Hello again Fiends for another Friday night Horror Corner. Tonight I bring you the second in the series of Zombie films from George A Romero. Dawn of The Dead released in 1978 is not much of a carry over from the first film its more of a secondary look at the zombie apocalypse from a different perspective. Being such, the movie contains none of the characters or plot lines from the first film. This film centers around several survivors of the zombie outbreak who steal a helicopter and try to fly themselves to the Canadian wilderness. Passing over a shopping mall they decide to find food and possible fuel. After surveying the area they decide to make the shopping mall safe and make a life there. I don’t want to ruin the movie and tell you about the bikers and the helicopter and the escape and things so I’ll leave the storytelling to Romero. However, I will tell you that this movie is a must see, as it carries the social warnings of excess and consumer addictions. It shows the mundane and empty feelings from an overly materialistic existence. Romero again doesn’t miss a chance to throw a few social commentaries into his films. So education and entertainment seem to be par for the course so far.

REMAKE (2004)

I decided to include a blurb about the remake, as all of the Romero Originals have had remakes made for them. The remake of this movie is the same premise and location and has many many similarities to the original however there are major plotline differences. So rather than being a remake this film is more of an homage to the original story as most of the remakes actually are however, as much as this story is different it is still a respectable and entertaining story.

Watch both in one night to compare the similarities and differences. Or be like me and bring in two TV’s and watch them simultaneously. Yes I really did that once.

I’m not proud of it.

August 10, 2009 Posted by | The Horror Corner | , , , , | Comments Off on Friday night Horror: Dawn of the Dead

Friday Night Horror Corner

I apologize to all my friends out there looking for a good friday night scare.  My absence last week and part of this week were due to new responsibilities in my life.  I am now a gainfully employed member of society and getting back into the swing of things has been a bit shall we say disorienting.  So as my friend says after a particularlly nasty fragging “cry more newb”  So that is precisely what Im going to do.  Im going to cry for a bit.  But those tears will be tears of happiness and terror all at the same time.  Because this week I bring to your attention a movie which shaped my life, which made my teenage years a bit more formative.  While my schoolmates were off partying it up I was sitting at home researching zombies, how to defeat them and how to create them.  And damned if Max Brooks didn’t get the books out before me.  I would have been rich beyond my wildest dreams!  I don’t dream very big, really.  So anyway without further ado I bring to you the Trifecta of zombie movies.  The first in the series of the trilogy of the walking dead.

Night of the Living Dead

This George A. Romero film debuted in  1968 and for the time was a poignant reminder of the times.  Throughout the movie there are subtle social commentaries of the time, most especially the ending.  This movie far from being the first ever zombie movie(reserved for the 1932 classic White Zombie) is the first ever “zombiepocolypse” movie and spurred the entire genre into overdrive, creating masterpiece after masterpiece of low budget B-movie greatness.  Night of the Living Dead centers around a group of survivors in a small rural pennsylvania town trying to survive an unknown catastrophe.  After a space exploration satelite explodes in the atmosphere creating a possible radiation event the dead begin to rise from their graves.  The characters in this movie encompass all walks of life.  The young athlete, the well to do black man, and the family with the overly agressive father.  I won’t ruin the movie for you but I will tell you this.  “shoot em in the head and they stay dead.”

This movie is a wonderful addition to any horror buffs collection and would do well with anyone who is a lover of great black and white movies.

So curl up on the couch turn off the lights grab yourself a Fullers London Porter and enjoy a good movie with a friend, or a girlfriend, whichever ya got.

Goodnight fiends I will continue the trilogy next week with Dawn of the Dead a great movie with another low budget and an amazing Director.

August 1, 2009 Posted by | The Horror Corner | , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Friday Night Horror Corner

Tonight I decided to do an old movie.  A movie also discussed on the 18th Podcast.  A movie called Wickerman.  So sit back and enjoy the review Dreammachines.

 

Wickerman directed by Robin Hardy came out in 1973 starring Christopher Lee and a few other names.  But I’m no name dropper plus I don’t think anyone would recognize the other people in this movie.  The plot of this movie revolves around a police detective traveling to a small island to investigate a series of suspicious murders.  I’m sure you can imagine what happens next on this small island.  The plot line is notoriously thin but the atmosphere of the movie is fairly well developed for such a small budget film.  This low budget film seems to embody the heart and soul of what similar low budget films of today have lost, the ability to rivet the audience no matter the cost of production.  In my opinion  low budget films today have lost the ability to pull the audience in to tell the story correctly. 

Wickerman has all the frights and spooks to keep you going through the movie but don’t expect it to scare your socks off.  The story should be enough to keep you entertained and hopefully give you a real dose of authentic storytelling.  As for nightmares I would expect you to have an uneasy night but nothing to bad, probably just the dream where your naked in high school again.  Well, well pizza got here early.  Looks like a cold beer and a hot slice await me.  Also a nice scary movie with some friends and a couple of drunken laughs should be good times.   Till next Friday, Don’t screw with Jason’s weed man just don’t do it.

July 17, 2009 Posted by | The Horror Corner | , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Friday Night Horror Corner

The Horror Corner – Session 9

So here I sit a dismal but sunny Friday morning. I have been absent from the game reviews and for that I apologize. I know my thongs of adoring fans are beating themselves silly right now with anticipation of whether or not I’m going to post my Horror movie reviews. So without kidding myself any further about my own popularity I’ll get right to Session 9. If you listened to the 18th podcast you heard richieraw and myself mention this thriller of a movie. Not so much a gore fest or a fright show its more of a psychological thriller that keeps you guessing the entire time. Session 9 directed by Brad Anderson released in 2001. The movie centers around a group of Asbestos removal technicians who are working to rehabilitate an older mental facility. This team is filled out by such societal winners as a law school dropout, a dreamer with the hopes of one day running a casino, the bitter lonely guy and the new guy with severe fear of the dark. This motley crew of weak and wounded workers makes the movie that much more appealing. The character development takes place sequentially throughout the film and allows you to gradually get to know each of the guys on the crew, right before they are murdered. The ending of the film is a bit heavy and relays the fragility of the human mind. Now you all know I’m not going to ruin the movie for you so grab yourselves a six pack of a nice amber beer, a girl who isn’t easily scared, and turn the lights off and surround sound up. I’m sure all you dream machines out there will love this movie for its absolute creepiness factor.

July 10, 2009 Posted by | The Horror Corner | , , , , , , | Comments Off on The Horror Corner – Session 9

Friday Night Horror Corner- The Bunker

As I sit here writing my review I’m several beers into an unemployed Friday night.  So the last few days I have been overloading my brain with internet job searches, video games, and spending copious amounts of time with my daughter.  As any one of you might guess I’ve also been pulling out the old DVD’s and watching a few horror movies.   Tonight I’ve saved the best for a drunken Friday night with friends.  The Bunker,  a movie about a squad of Nazi soldiers pushed back to a bunker in the middle of nowhere.  A time honored plot line of a building being built over unholy ground a la poltergeist  1 – a million.  The soldiers are holed up in a bunker versus an imaginary American force surrounding them.  As the soldiers succumb to various hallucinations and increasing paranoia things start to go wrong when one of them decides to go to the underground tunnels to find a way out.  Of course the “Americans” get into the tunnels and start to kill them off one by one.  Well as you might suspect things go seriously downhill when the flashbacks and hallucinations begin causing people to lose their minds.  Serious bouts of anger and delirium are whittling away at the morale of the group.   Because I don’t want you to hate me for spoiling the movie, people die and the movie ends.  So to wrap this up before I black out or the thunderstorm were having kills my internet, this is another Nazi suspense wartime movie.  I will be shifting next week to zombie movies and really getting into the down and dirty.  So for now Dream Machines this is atomiczombie tuning in and tuning out.

 

Keep your baseball bats and machetes ready for next week.  We might have a nice heated discussion about the perfect zombie weapons and how to survive a zombie apocalypse.

June 26, 2009 Posted by | The Horror Corner | Comments Off on Friday Night Horror Corner- The Bunker

Friday Night Horror Corner: The Keep

Fiends, Slayers, and mummy men, lend me your fears. For tonight we delve into the darkness and the abyss. This movie is not so much terrifying and horrific, but more suspenseful and thought provoking. Who is enemy and who is friend, and how do you tell the difference. It won’t give you nightmares for years to come but it will entertain you and maybe make you jump a little here and there. So tonight I bring to you a movie from my own collection of favorites. The Keep, directed by Michael Mann, the man who brought you The Last of the Mohicans, Miami Vice, Hancock, and Public Enemies (the new Johnny Dep film). The movies musical score is written by non other than 80’s musical sensation Tangerine Dream and stars Gabriel Byrne, Jürgen Prochnow, Scott Glenn, and none other than the white wizard himself SIR Ian McKellen. Although chock full of amazing actors and a pretty solid plot this movie was battered at the box office because of its Supernatural twist. Had this movie come out 4 years later it would have been an absolute SMASH hit.

The story centers around a platoon of WWII Nazis in Romania looking to occupy an old Castle Keep to protect a small mountain pass from advancing Russians. However when they arrive at the keep the greed of the German soldiers awakens something evil and dark. A couple soldiers get capped and the evil wakens fully the SS show up and bring in a Jewish scientist. Jewish scientist helps them… Look I can’t really give away too much more of this film because let’s face it; most of these movies are pretty low on plot anyways. Oh and before you say jeesh zombieboi what’s the fascination with Nazis. I assure you it’s not a thing with zombies it’s a thing with war. War is intrinsically fascinating to me but that has nothing to do with what’s going on here.

My suggestion, grab a pizza, a sixer, and a lady and watch this movie. It’s not scary enough to put a chick under the couch, but it’s just scary enough to give her the willies. At the end of the movie offer to escort her home to keep her safe from the evil lurking in the dark.

A good beer for this movie would be a Hefeweizen from Stoudts brewery, although I guess any hefe would work.

Alright freaks and geeks ill see you all next friday

June 19, 2009 Posted by | The Horror Corner | , , , , | 5 Comments

Friday Night Horror Corner

Hello Fiends and welcome to the first of Friday night Horror Corner. I’m putting this up here because I know lots of you dream machines love your Horror movies as much as I do. I know you’re tired of finding a good title and getting all ready to watch it and all you see is bad computer gen movie effects and horrid acting. I’m tired of seeing nothing but bloody knives and T&A…well not that I’m tired of seeing T&A I’m just not so sure that directors know how to put it into a horror movies anymore.
So without further ado I’m going to tell you all about some GOOD horror movies. Horror movies made like they used to be made, movies that are made with suspense and fear in mind. The kind of movies that will put you to bed with the lights on

DeathWatch

DeathWatch

Deathwatch a film directed by Michael Bassett and released Nov of 2002 is a movie set in WW1 Western front. I am not going to ruin the movie for you I’m just going to tell you that it’s a war movie with a HUGE horror twist to it. This movie has everything suspense, blood, and absolute shock. The ending of this movie twisted me for a few days I had no idea it was coming like it did. Watch this movie and I guarantee you’ll love it if you don’t I’ll post pictures of me in a clown outfit.
For a real exciting night curl up on the couch turn off all the lights make some quesadillas and grab a six pack of mad elf beer. Throw this puppy in the dvd player and turn the surround system to 11. I’ll see you freaks and geeks next Friday.

June 12, 2009 Posted by | The Horror Corner | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments