Video Game player Spoogelord69 from New Baptist, Kentucky was sentenced to 15 years at a labour camp in the Gulag without an Xbox for his potential involvement on a (fictional) twitter account.
It all started on Wednesday Novemeber 10th 2010 when Spoogelord69 wrote “lawl plox at ur girlfriend I haz noodz of her lvl 70 shaman 2900 WHR in TB WTS 40g pst with offer” on his twitter account to the under secretary of the prime minister of bossmanistan. The Under Secretary then reported a possible TERRORIST threat to the Authorities who promptly put down their boston creame donuts and headed over to Spoogelord69’s house. Upon arrival Spooge’s parents directed the authorities to the basement where Spoogelord was holed up. After an hour long journey through empty cans of Monster and Twinkie wrappers the Authorities apprehended the suspect.
In response Spoogelord69, whose name is David Finkstien but also known under the alias’s of “bel biv devo, rock my Talent Tree, and Kris Kristofferson”, accused his friend Lawrence Phillips of hacking his account and sending out the Tweets. Lawrence was not available for comment. Spoogelord was convicted under the anti terrorism act enacted in the 1860’s in response to the rising fear that Turtleneck’s would be taking over the planet. Though the current threat level for Turtleneck’s is at yellow or, black, or mock-neck, it is still a capital offense to make such threats.
Spoogelord69 and his 16,500 achievement points were removed from the XBOX live network on Friday morning prior to the conviction. When asked by the presiding judge Suzy Lawpants, before being taken away to the Gulag, as to why he would convict a crime Spoogelord’s only response was that he was proud he was the first of his friends to get 60/60 achievements in Elder Scrolls Oblivlion.
Ugh. Achievements! Microsoft adding the achievement system has been the single biggest advancement in gaming since….hmm..the wii mote? HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA. I’m kidding. Wii-Mote *jerks off*. Please. Anyways. I’m playing my Shaman who does not have that “feat of strength” achievement for the Green Brewfest Stein errrrbody is getting. So I’m thinking wait a second how is this possible? You had to be part of the 2009 Brewfest event to get it Well blizzard has made it so you can get the achievement this year even if you missed it last year! TAH-DAH! So, how do you get the Stein if you didn’t get it in 2009? Man, It’s so stupidly easy even I could figure it out. As alliance you do this.
Get the quest “Now this is ram racing…Almost” where you use the racing reins to :
- Maintain a Trot for 8 seconds
- Maintain a Canter for 8 seconds
- Maintain a Gallop for 8 seconds
After completing that quest you return to Neill Rammstien for the quest “there and back again” where you have to get a keg from Flynn Firebrew in Kharanos and return it to Pol Amberstill. Do this 3 times before your ram goes away.
After you complete that quest a new quest will open up. “another year, another souvenir” where you are given the Stein.
For horde…you will do the maintaining parts then get a follow up quest from Ram Master Ray.
/Salute Enjoy your feat of strength.
Man, that is a title. I’m actually impressed at how fucking lame I made that shit. You’ll forgive me as I’m listening to the shit hot Gorillaz song Stylo and my attention is very lacking. I need to stop for a second and speak to Richie’s silence after I forwarded this song. It speaks volume’s to his displeasure. Sure, it’s Damon Albarn. And sure he’s white. Top that off with a litol’ british ness. Well with damon it’s ALOT OF british. But like fuck rich. This shit is hot.
Anyways. Halo Reach. Lets REVIEW YOU BABY.
Sike. This aient no review! I’ll leave that to the awesome site that is G4tv.
I’m kidding. That’s Richie’s jawn! I don’t dare touch Halo “reviews” for fear of death from “RR” or “richie-raw” or whatever gamer tag I don’t know about that is currently being referenced to the king of games. Oh you gamers and your gamer tag’s. WHATEVER. Halo Reach is not bad. It’s just not that great. Stress great – because it’s good. If you like halo you’ll love this game. If you want some kind of different take on Halo, it’s not exactly your thing. There are some new weapons in Halo Reach however. And that’s why we play halo amirite? Just look at this retarded list on Halopedia. I found myself using the M392 Designated Marksman Rifle virtually the entire time. Have fun killing a hunter with it though. You’ll run through 60 rounds on it without any effort. Then again with Hunters, you can bug them and just stand at max distance and prevent them from firing giving you an in to kill them. It’s excruciatingly fucking stupid to do it this way but when you’re given this gun, and a grenade launcher, (with 5 rounds?!?!?!?!) halfway through the game you’ll find yourself doing this. AND FUCKING OFTEN. NERD RAGE INCREASING. Anyhow Fast Forward a bit….I ended up beating the game last weekend and if anyone listens to our podcast you’ll know this can be quite and achievement for either of us.
In the end I found the game to be a lot of fun, more halo, but that it felt that it was halo 4 than anything else. Oh, it had different cut scenes that pre-dated anything we have seen. Woopie. The Multiplayer is something I cant speak to at all since, you know, ahem, moving on. You will find some gnarley quirks like AI driving but you’ll also find cool shit like shields. Hint: KEEP JET PACKS FOREVER DUMBASS. Good lucking finding that shit though, it rarely appears on maps. I’d love to find the location point of Jet Packs though. 🙂 (SEO FTW). The Storyline is great and will appease any kind of halo fan. The gameplay is more standard but not boring in any way so please don’t confuse some of the harshness for a dislike of the game. I’m sure it will score a 80-75 on metacritic and in my opinion this is perfectly fine. Go buy it at your local gamestop from the kid who has been growing out his beard since 16. Fuck gamestop employee’s. Sorry, just had to toss that in. It’s a good game. Get it.
I just completed the protoss level “utter darkness” . I got all three achievements, on the normal setting of course. I was able to play the most defensive game of my life. It’s as if this level was written for me. I must have had 100 turrets going at one time on top of a masssssssive fleet. I was rolling around the map like crazy on the three choke points. I did manage to get the 2 achievements, kill 250 extra zerg after the 1500, and kill 750 extra zerg after the 1500. I ended up with 2300 dead. zerg before I was overrun. My eyes are so damn dry from clicking like crazy. I really just cannot emote how amazing that was. Am I too lame to admit I got chills WHILE playing this level?
I got chills.
Here is a screenshot of In Utter Darkness