Everyone and their brother is complaining talking about how fun Fallout New Vegas is, but also how many glitches it has. I’m going to join the masses and point out a glitched moment but, also focus on not being a dick about it by running to the forums to complain. This might go into the Tips section for my Gamers Guide to a Personality. More fodder for my upcoming book which no one will buy.
The glitch occurred after I cleared out the REPCONN Test Site full of ghouls and managed to save not only the normal ghouls but also the Nightkin! Yay me right? Yeah, i’m a sucker for the good ending. Alone in a vast wasteland it’s me, myself, and my bottle of gin, saving humanity one gesture at a time. Awe. Feeling happy and secure I saved and went to bed at 1am. (UGH)
The next day, after a long day at work, I come home and let the wife play fable 2 for >4< hours then pop in the game about an hour past bedtime. The following is a (mostly) true story.
Happy fun save time REPCONN Facility
Cannot load game HAHA FU. (it really said FU, true story)
More uncomfortable silence
Select Auto Save 10 minutes prior to happy fun save time at REPCONN facility
Cannot load game
silent (response exaggerated to protect the innocent)
I’m kidding. I didn’t get angry. I laughed. Really, I did. Mostly because I was being a arrogant smug jerkface reading all the stories of people’s games bugging out while mine was not. “heh, look at those fools and their bugs. They cant touch me.” I was caught red handed at what I do so well. So I did what any self respecting gamer does. I called up a friend, in this case rich, and repeated the story. He suggested saving the entire game to my hard-drive. What FOREIGN CONCEPT IS THIS? Install to harddrive? he might as well be telling me to write up battle plans for invading china for crying out loud. Now, I’m sure he can pop in and tell you this but this is how the convo went.
“we’ve talked about this before.”
“We did?” – playing innocent because I know we must have in the past.
“yeah, you press the yellow button, Y, and install it to your harddrive. It saves time on the load, lessens the usage of your disc reader, and makes bunnies come rushing into your house to cuddle with you. Dude, dont you remember talking about it on the podcast?”
There are two points to this. One is to not be a smug jerkface and laugh at other people’s shit going wrong because it can just as easily happen to you. The other is that even when there is a moment when something goes totally fucking wrong and seemingly ruins what amounts to an epic battle, involving hours of running around a fucking maze like facility fending off people with a butterknife,in the process using all my fucking stimpaks, something good can always come from it. And that is the realization that I am, sometimes, a complete fucking jerkface that can now save games to my 20 gig harddrive.
I know what you’re thinking but…120$ for a 250 gig drive? as IF! TAKE THAT $$$SOFT.
I imagine you joyfully came home from gamestop (after being insulted a few times) with a massive grin on your face promptly tell your mom/family/roomates you hate to fuck off, because you are ready to play some Fallout New Vegas BOYEEEE! First thoughts as you run through the game’s starting credits are man…this feels good. REAL GOOD. It’s been months since you cracked out on any game like this – kind of like the excitment you feel if your old lady has come home after she’s been away at Anime Convention for months on end to find her in some japanimerpbullshit outfit. You lean back on your wobbly ikea sofa, feel the needle slide into your arm deep enough, and wake up in Goodspring. You are thinking dude where the SMEG am i? Goodspring? Oh NO they didn’t. This is no Vault 101 my fellow Fallout 3 crackheads. If you are like me you slammed your monster can down on the table and said THIS is NOT the VAULT and promptly stamped around in a circle a few times with your arms flailing about. What the FUCK! FFFFUUUUUUUU. Right?
You are nodding your head right now.
Well, I raged. Except not really.
After doing some run around talk to Sunny Smiles world of warcraft mailman quests (GOD)….you are hit with your first real quest (don;’t be a douchebag and correct me with all caps saying: THIS IS NOT THE FIRST QUEST) in Fallout New Vegas By a Campfire on the Trail. Now you are thinking this is Vegas! My first quest should be something where I kill a pimp so a stripper falls in love with me and we do lots of CO CO CO CO CAAAAINE, or get so much money that you can buy a stripper then do some CO CO CO CO-CAINE just so you can kill a pimp, or you all of a sudden become 15x your normal size and laugh maniacally over vegas like homer simpson after winning the lottery, stepping on pimps so you can get a stripper and do lots of? YOU GUESSED IT. CO CO CO CO CAINE
You would be wrong.
Instead…….wait for it……………………….you go and pick some flowers. Mother fucker said pick some flowers!!! So off you go to “find a broc flower and some XANDER ROOT”. Jesus christ. What kind of game is this where I have to go picking flowers? (clue: The Broc Flower is in the Good Springs Cemetery and the Xander Root it just outside of the door to the abandoned school house near a rock).
So what is it? What is this game? I want to kill some dudes with my ultra powerful LASOR cannon of DEATH in my kick ass power armor. This shit needs to get better fast but judging by the lameness of Fallout 3’s first 5-8 hours..I’m guessing right around the 5-8 hour mark. Which is O-K.
Looks like Fallout 3 in a new area…..wait, there’s nothing wrong with that! Just hook this thing to my veins! Check out the trailer. The game comes out Oct. 19th.