I imagine you joyfully came home from gamestop (after being insulted a few times) with a massive grin on your face promptly tell your mom/family/roomates you hate to fuck off, because you are ready to play some Fallout New Vegas BOYEEEE! First thoughts as you run through the game’s starting credits are man…this feels good. REAL GOOD. It’s been months since you cracked out on any game like this – kind of like the excitment you feel if your old lady has come home after she’s been away at Anime Convention for months on end to find her in some japanimerpbullshit outfit. You lean back on your wobbly ikea sofa, feel the needle slide into your arm deep enough, and wake up in Goodspring. You are thinking dude where the SMEG am i? Goodspring? Oh NO they didn’t. This is no Vault 101 my fellow Fallout 3 crackheads. If you are like me you slammed your monster can down on the table and said THIS is NOT the VAULT and promptly stamped around in a circle a few times with your arms flailing about. What the FUCK! FFFFUUUUUUUU. Right?
You are nodding your head right now.
Well, I raged. Except not really.
After doing some run around talk to Sunny Smiles world of warcraft mailman quests (GOD)….you are hit with your first real quest (don;’t be a douchebag and correct me with all caps saying: THIS IS NOT THE FIRST QUEST) in Fallout New Vegas By a Campfire on the Trail. Now you are thinking this is Vegas! My first quest should be something where I kill a pimp so a stripper falls in love with me and we do lots of CO CO CO CO CAAAAINE, or get so much money that you can buy a stripper then do some CO CO CO CO-CAINE just so you can kill a pimp, or you all of a sudden become 15x your normal size and laugh maniacally over vegas like homer simpson after winning the lottery, stepping on pimps so you can get a stripper and do lots of? YOU GUESSED IT. CO CO CO CO CAINE
You would be wrong.
Instead…….wait for it……………………….you go and pick some flowers. Mother fucker said pick some flowers!!! So off you go to “find a broc flower and some XANDER ROOT”. Jesus christ. What kind of game is this where I have to go picking flowers? (clue: The Broc Flower is in the Good Springs Cemetery and the Xander Root it just outside of the door to the abandoned school house near a rock).
So what is it? What is this game? I want to kill some dudes with my ultra powerful LASOR cannon of DEATH in my kick ass power armor. This shit needs to get better fast but judging by the lameness of Fallout 3’s first 5-8 hours..I’m guessing right around the 5-8 hour mark. Which is O-K.